Friday, August 22, 2014

One Small Change

When I set out on this journey I had hoped for a few changes, which were probably not much different from others going down the same path. I had hoped my thighs would shrink, along with my stomach and my rear. And I am happy to say that it is happening. Not as fast as I would like, but I know that slow and steady wins the race, so I am okay with this pace. 

But there is one other area that I cannot help focusing on, and that is my calves. As long as I can remember I have had very large calves. Well, I suppose I first became aware of it when I was around 16 and I was walking up the stairs at work ahead of the guy I had a major crush on and he said "Wow! You have really big calves!" What a way to deflate a young heart. Ever since that day I have been so aware of this flaw and it has stuck with me.... even 28 years later. When I look at myself in the mirror my eyes always divert to these giant things above my ankles. Even my "padded knees" are starting to slowly disappear (SLOWLY), but the calves will not change. It's one of the main reasons I do not wear knee-length skirts. My legs just look so awkward with these giant calves.

Each time I watch a weight loss show or see pictures of amazing transformations the first thing I look at is the before and after of their CALVES. I want to see if people even larger than me had any luck slimming them down, and in most cases they do....but these are people that lost their weight through running and strength training. All I do is walk for 45 minutes a day. It's just not happening for me.

But then I had an epiphany the other night. I realized that I need to accept the fact that they will not change. I can lose weight everywhere else; I will eventually start defining muscle in my upper body. But the calves will remain big....and I need to be okay with that. Instead of my hang-ups being large thighs, a fat belly, rotund rear, and padded knees all I will have left are my sizable calves. That's all that I will have left to dislike, and I will accept that.

You know what happened? This morning I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought "Wow, my legs ARE looking a little more athletic today and my calves really aren't that disgustingly big."

And all that changed between last night and this morning? 
My attitude.